Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Funny jokes

 Man: "Excuse me?" Woman: "Yea?" Man: "Would you touch this?" (holds out his sleeve) Woman: "Ok, why?" Man: "Does that not feel like boyfriend material?" This joke is very funny, but cute. It would actually work to show that you want to be good boyfriend material for your girlfriend. She will see that you have a sense of humor and love this flirty joke.

"What is the difference between like and love?" Answer: "Spit and swallow." This joke is flirty and suggestive. It will show your girlfriend that you are humorous. It could also make her laugh. Every woman adores a man with a good sense of humor.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you." With this joke, you will sweep her off of her feet. Letting your girlfriend know that nothing compares to her is very important. She will feel so special and wanted, it could win you a big kiss.

     "Let's commit the perfect crime; I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine." With this flirty joke, you will show your girlfriend that she has stolen your heart, and you are stealing hers. Most women are looking for someone to steal their heart away. When you say this, she is going to be head over heals for you.

When using these different flirty jokes, you will show your girlfriend that you have a wonderful sense of humor. You will show her how flirty and sweet you can be. This can be a great way to sweep a woman off her feet.

Knock knock. Who's there? Mirra. Mirra who? Mirra Mirra on the wall. This joke may seem corny, but you can play it up any way you like. You could add a little flirty edge to it by saying she is the prettiest woman of them all.

Knock knock. Who's there? Aretha. Aretha who? Aretha flowers for you. With this knock knock joke, you want to bring the lady some flowers. This joke is cute and very flirty. It will win a woman's heart.

Knock knock. Who's there? Egg. Egg who? Eggcited to meet you. As corny as this one may seem, it is a winner. It will show the woman how excited you were to meet her. It will show your sense of humor as well.

<Agent_grey> Scanner works! scanner wooooorrrkss!!
<artforz> how did you make it work?
<Agent_grey> its very very technical and scientific, involving the introduction of organic substance interfacing with its structural integrity
<Agent_grey> i whacked it really really hard


<JDigital> Hacking dates back to early Roman times. However, back then there was very little to 'hack' - only stone tablets.
<JDigital> People who would sneak in at night and change the contents of a stone tablet by 'hacking' at it with a hammer and chisel... hence the name, 'hacker'.
<JDigital> Those who did only damage were known as 'crackers', since they'd just run in a smash the stone tablets.


Radio Shack...  You've got questions, we've got blank stares.

<Geothermal> too many kitties in my life
<Kashan> masturbate more
<Geothermal> that's your solution to everything damn it
<Geothermal> "Just keep whackin' Geo!"
<Geothermal> well I'm tired of that kinda attitude


<Kukyona> how is hacking like sex? gets better with practice?
<m4tt-3> ehh
<m4tt-3> 'get in, get out, hope you dont leave anything behind that can be traced to you


<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<mrwhite> hahahahhaha
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience here


thisismykittyx: so i went into victoria's secret and asked one of the bra-fitting ladies if they carried AAs.
thisismykittyx: and the lady goes, "try radioshack".


<jess> So whats the difference between the mormons and the muslims??
<jess> The mormons want their 72 virgins now


sterano: Whats the difference between Raid_0 and Raid_1?
Steve: In Raid_0 the zero stands for how many files you are going to get back if something goes wrong.


<snow> hurricanes are like women
<snow> when they come, they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and car.

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%


<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..
<Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there...
<third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off..
<third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice.
<third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted.
<third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.
<third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.
<third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot.
<third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable fucking silence ever.

<Beeth> Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
<honx> well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P