Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Cop jokes

 A cop pulls over a lady.
She says "I thought cops did not give tickets to beautiful women?"
Cop "We don't, here is your ticket".

Cop to driver "You're eyes are bloodshot-you been drinking?"
Driver to cop - "No. You're eyes are glazed over. You been eating donuts? "

A cop sitting in his patrol car looking for speeding. after several hours the cop caught this car doing 90 on a 65 mph highway. the cop pull over the speeding car. the cop approaches the window of the driver and said... "I have been waiting for you all day." the driver responded by saying... "well, i got here as fast as i could". the officer couldn't contain his laughter and let him off with a warning.

Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed?
A: An undercover cop .

I have a friend who's a female cop.
Women often turn on the waterworks when she pulls them over, but when she walks up to their cars she just tells them: "Save your tears for a male cop, honey, 'cause they won't work on me!"
It's amazing how many women's attitudes change from "poor, helpless female" to "royal b-tch" in about 2 seconds!

When I was a much younger man, I was driving home late on one particular evening when a cop pulled me over. he walks up to the car and asked: "son, have you been drinking tonight?" and I answered: "why, is there a fat chick in the car with me?" needless to say; the cop was not very happy with my answer....... neither was the fat chick.....true story.....lol

Got stoped going app25 over limit. it was during a dwi extra inforcement. she asked me if i had been drinking. told her no, i was alergic to boose. she said hows that? told her every time i drank, broke out in handcuffs. she laughed, asked if i was wearing seatbelts, said no she ticketed me for no belts and told me to slow down