Dr. Marshall Goldsmith discusses triggers, where they come from, and how we can modify our reactions to them for better results.
I have a theory. If I interview almost anyone I work with and ask
them a question, "Who's the you, you'd like to be?" I always get such a
positive response to this. Hard working, dedicated, high integrity,
great family person, in perfect physical condition, healthy diet, works
out. What happens?
What happens is we journey through life. What is the disconnect
between this me that I think I want to be, and the me that actually
shows up every day. Well, by February the gym is empty. Employees are
more disengaged than ever before. Many people and teams aren't achieving
their personal goals. Why?
As we journey through life we're constantly bombarded by triggers.
Now, what is a trigger? A trigger is any stimulus that might impact our
behavior. Could be a sight, a sound, a word, a person.
Sometimes these triggers push us towards becoming the person we want
to be. More often than not, just the opposite. They push us away from
becoming that person that we want to be.
Very important as you journey through life to anticipate what are the
triggers that set you off. When is it that you start engaging in
behavior that really isn't the behavior that you want to engage in?
Start analyzing your behavior every day. Keep track of every time you go
off course. Every time you start behaving in a way that's inconsistent
with the you you wanna be.
When you starting not to achieve your goals. When the time you're
spending isn't helping you to get to where you want to go. Then start
looking at why. Why. What you're almost gonna always see is there's a
trigger. A phone call, a person, a sound, a sight. Something. And by
understanding these triggers, we can do three things.
First, you can start anticipating. I wanna quit drinking. Don't hang around bars. Anticipate this is not going to help me.
Unfortunate case study is people that have drug problems, they go
through rehab. They get better. They quit taking the drugs. They
sincerely believe they're going to change. But what happens if you put
them back in that old environment with those old triggers? They almost
invariably become drug addicts again. So very important learn to
anticipate.
When I'm in this environment here are the triggers that occur, and
here's how I'm going to get off course. Learn to anticipate what are the
triggers that throw you away from becoming the person you want to be.
Second, learn to avoid. If you know when you're in this particular
environment the triggers are going to push you away from becoming the
person you know you want to be. The person you know you should be. Learn
to avoid it.
If you want to quit drinking, avoid the bars. You want to quit taking
drugs, avoid people that take drugs. Avoid, if at all possible.
Finally, if we cannot avoid, and sometimes we can't. Sometimes we're
just in environments where we know there are going to be triggers that
tend to set us off. Learn to adjust. Learn to adjust our behavior so
that we know the trigger is coming. We know it's going to lead to the
inappropriate behavior in many cases. Learn to react in a different way
to the trigger. So then our behavior becomes a function of choice not a
function of this impulse.
As we journey through life, typically what happens there's a trigger,
the trigger leads to an impulse, the impulse leads to behavior.
The whole point of my book Triggers is quite simple. It says there
are always going to be triggers. If we can stop and breathe, become
aware of what's happening, then we become mindful. Then we think, I'm
aware. I realize what's going on with me. Then I have a choice.
Well, then our behavior becomes a function of the choice. So instead
of trigger, impulse, behavior, we have trigger, impulse, awareness,
choice, behavior. To the degree you can learn the triggers that set you
off. Learn to breathe, relax, calm down, and realize the trigger may not
change. My choice is how I react to this trigger. To the degree you can
do that, you're going to be much more likely to become the person you
want to become not become the person the environment is creating.
